Sunday, April 29, 2007

Not with a heavy heart do I walk...

For the past couple of weeks I've basically been a bum, albeit a busy one. I stopped working at Equinox, and I do a little training on the outside, but for the most part I'm doing a lot of prep work, spending time with the friends and family, that kind of stuff.
My physical conditioning isn't a problem, so I've been doing a lot of work on the mental side, and it's paying off.
It seems like my life is composed of these neat little adventures that sort of tie into one another and leave me never bored. The more I think about it, the more I like it that way. I guess maybe that's why the prospect of packing up everything I own, leaving everything I know behind, and going to war isn't that big a deal to me. What's the alternative? Sit in the same place rotting until you die in front of the tv with a beer in your hand? That's no way to live.
There was a movie a while back by Albert Brooks called 'Defending Your Life'. The premise of this movie was that when you die you don't necessarily get judged on how good a person you were, but rather on how much you let your fear control you. I've always thought that was a pretty right on notion. I know a lot of people who don't do the things they want to do because of their personal fear. Fear can definitely be a healthy thing, it lets you know when trouble is near, and when you need to avoid danger. Sometimes though, fear holds you back from fulfilling your own destiny.
If you can control your fear, and understand that there is no greater thing than serving your fellow man, well you've got a pretty good recipe for a fulfilling life right there.
So for my friends and family who are still trying to key in on why I do what I do, and in particular why I am doing this, it is important to understand that I do not go into this with a heavy heart, full of dread and a sense of loss for whatever I now pack into boxes. I walk full of happiness, because I know that whatever occurs over the next year and a half, I dared greatly, and that is the only thing I ask of myself.
We have so little time here, and I don't want my last thoughts to be that I should have done something and I did not.


  1. I completely agree with your sentiments of living life to the fullest with a heart of courage. However, even in the short time I've known you, I doubt you'd ever die in front of the TV with a beer in your hand. You're a vodka lover! Please just take all those great sentiments and put them to the highest use of all--getting back safely. We're all behind you!

  2. Thanks for your support Bert, it is appreciated. Yes, the vodka is the key.